1 AM yesterday

I was in bed wide awake attempting to lull myself to sleep by counting the jellyfish on my ceiling. When the weirdest scene from my life kept playing over and over. Sometime ago I was working (and yes I was country fresh) when the shady faggot began to preach to me about the trifling gays he had encountered. I commented something along the lines of "tell me about it both my brothers are gay, so I know a lot about trifling faggots." Then the shady faggot looks me in the eyes and says "knowing gay men DOES NOT make you a gay man" This basically trivial point in my life was playing on the inside of my eyelids, and every time I saw it I got just a little bit madder until I no longer could stand to be in bed. I jumped to my feet and walked with great authority into the livingroom. I am not sure what I thought this would accomplish since no one was up to cleverly instigate in a fight. I considered calling Clementine, but he would be in bed and lord knows that boy needs his beauty sleep. So I decided to sit down and figure out what exactly was pissing me off. So one shady faggot doesn't like me. Hundreds do (and if they don't like me they haven't met me.) I was irate because this little chicken was trying to tell ME that I don't belong in the gay world. Who is he to say that I am not a gay man? I have been on the side of gay rights ever since I was little and read my brother's journal. I helped every gay member of my student body out of closet in high school, and in my short college career I have helped two. I am the one who puts my life in limb on the line when homophobia might turn violent. Don't tell me I am not a gay man just because I have vagina. Heterophobia has got to stop. If you practice it you are as ugly as gay bashers. I belong in any world and culture and I want to be in. Sometimes I am jealous of Clementine because he has that easy in. He hold up his rainbow staff of queerness and everyone takes his point of view as fact. Meanwhile I am just a straight girl with the exact same point of view being told I have no idea what I am talking about. Well, you know what gay world I LOVE YOU! So what if I will never do it doggy style with a gay man while Teddy Ruckspin watches. I still know what it would be like to do it. How you ask? Well, friends it's a thing I call empathy. I didn't have to walk a mile in your shoes if I just walk beside you I will get the gist. So to all you shady faggots I'M STRAIGHT, I'M GREAT GET USED TO IT!! And to the great faggots don't worry Momma will be by later to spank you, you dirty dirty boys!