Beware of the Butt Monster

Ok, lately I have been in sort of a funk. I thought it over and I still have no clue why. But in case there is actually someone reading this I thought I should lighten the mood.
I was driving home and as I stopped at the red light I looked up at a billboard. It was all black with only white writing on it that said "Don't let colon cancer sneak up on you". Now normal people would see this and think Hmm maybe I should get checked out. I am not normal. I begin to laugh hysterically out loud. I am the only one in the car so the car next to me probably thought I was cratarzy. You are probably thinking that cancer is a serious thing and it was wrong of me to laugh. Yes, cancer is serious but the image that popped into my head wasn't. I imagined this huge anus (known affectionate as the Butt Monster) creeping out of the closet and attacking unexpecting prey as they sleep. Then I thought this would be a good story to tell children about how the Butt Monster sneaks up on you armed with colon cancer and the only way to ward him off is obey your parents. I think I will start the children book tomorrow. So folks remember to check behind every door, in all the dark places, lock your house up real tight and please, please wear pajamas because you never know when the Butt Monster might sneak up on you with colon cancer.