Another World Wonder

I have been thinking a lot lately about some pretty heavy issues. One in particular has been racking my brain. No, it is not why are we here or does God ever take a day off. It is much deeper then that and harder to solve. I of course am talking about the decade old philosophical condrum the riddle of the McRib. Now I know that I am not supposed to burden you readers, and I know that this subject is likely to offend. But I have been searching my soul for an answer to the riddle. Why is McDonalds getting rid of the McRib?
This is obviously some sort of psychological test on the American people. Maybe we have been fooled and Mickey D's is actually owned by North Korea. They have been laying down the ground work for decades on this one. Now that they have nuclear weapons, they are going to come at us full force. First they will get rid of the McRib, then they will get rid of McDonalds all together. Then when all Americans are to weak because they haven't eaten for days which is a direct result of the fact that they are to lazy to cook and can't afford Burger King due to gas prices. Then and only then will North Korea strike.
They have this plan in action already. This is why their Nuclear missiles are pointed directly at San Francisco. They know that there is only two kinds of people in that city queers and tree huggers. The Koreans also know that in order for their plan to take hold they must get rid of that city because they cause the biggest threat. There is no way that queers or tree huggers will be crippled by the lack of McDonalds since neither eats there anyway. Tree huggers are repulsed by the idea of eating a cow (ha but the joke is on them, the burgers are actually soy and horse meat with very little cow. Stupid tree huggers.) and queers would are to afraid of getting fat and dying alone with 400 cats. So in order for the North Koreans to invade they must get rid of San Francisco first. They will quickly follow that bombing with another bombing of LA. This is where the mutants that never eat and appear to be able to survive on Gucci and Calvin live. They wont be weakened by the loss of Mickey D's either.
Now, I know that you are scared and have probably already stopped reading this post to run to McDonalds and buy enough McRibs to stock pile your bomb shelter (which you will begin building tomorrow after a trip to Home Depo. Note: Home Depo is owned by our governments terror alert team, but that is another blog.) So I wish you all health, happiness, and fast food in these obviously turmoil times. Also, I would like to note that I don't hate North Korea and neither does anyone I associate with, so please sir may I have another McRib.