Waiving the White Flag

I know I have to finish the story of baby boys birth, but I need to write this blog first. I am officially surrendering to the war on exes. I quit. Crow's ex a.k.a Bad Dye Job wins. I am so tired of the constant fear. I desperately need a new car, but can't get one because I never know when she will get to drinking and thinking that this world owes her something, and then BAM more child support is owed. Which would mean that I can't make the payments and then my car is re-poed. I know it sounds insane to those who don't live in terror everyday, but there is no negotiating with terrorist because their demands are just to massive. You see Crow has a daughter that I have tried and tried to make my own, but she has been poisoned to long to straighten her out now. What bugs me is that after all the lies have been told I think Bad Dye Job actually is believing them now, and I don't know how to fight crazy. Which leads me to the real point I am tired of fighting. I just wanted to be left alone. Unfortunately I have a weekly spy in my home, but as long as I remain detached then I can't get hurt. You see in order to save my own sanity I have to walk away. I can no longer tread water while tied to a boulder that is threatening to drown me. I have been hurt in this situation more times then I can count, and it just doesn't seem worth it anymore. I have my own child to think about. I must do everything I can to protect him for this crazy bitch, even if it means hiding in my room eight days a month. All I ask is that you don't judge me. I have been in fear, true fear for over six years now, I need a break. Now excuse me I need a moment to myself, to reflect.