Monday, April 03, 2006

Go ahead and fly your freak flag high

I am a freak. No not in the stay at home and masturbate to Star Wars kind of way. In an I don't march quite in step with all the other little ants kind of way. I realized this tonight when I went to dinner with this girl from work and her friends to celebrate her birthday. There I was with pig tails in my hair and all my piercing exposed sitting across from preppie girls. My freak flag wasn't only flying high there was a spot light on the damn thing. At first I played it calm attempting, for just a moment, to march like all the other ants. It just could not be done. Every time I got into step I would get a certain urge to just start a spastic dance. My freak was pissed that I was even attempting to hide it. Then it took over.
All the girls were having one of those "Oh my God, I am like such a bitch" conversations. I chime in with " I don't recall sending any of you a membership card to join my club." Their jaws dropped to the floor like they were about to give a blow job to a whale. Stunned. My freak had them just where we wanted them. So to ice the cake we added " But then again I am a different breed of bitch."
At the moment they all knew that they were in the presents of a freak. They all looked puzzled trying to figure out how I had snuck past their guard. Well, I knew because they had only seen me at work. There I am country fresh, the only thing freaky about me is my super girl underwear. They felt caged and I could see the fear in their eyes. I was happy though to be doing my own little spastic dance because I was free. By the end of the night I had them all laughing their asses off and I even got a few of them to raise their freak flag for awhile.
You see we all have a freak flag. Some of us raise it all the time some of us only raise it alone behind locked doors. But we all have it. We all eventually get bored following the leader in front of us and we all want to break the line. Our freak is the thing that convinces us that blue matches green and red all at the same time. Or our freak is the thing that will make you sing off key at the top of your lungs alone in a car. So come on everybody fly your freak flag in the open. You may make new friends and at the very least you will have one hell of a time doing a spastic dance while the other ants march by.